I didn’t have the pleasure of birthing you. To tell the truth, I’m still not convinced pleasure is involved anywhere in the whole birthing process… Birthing something really actually scares me so I guess it was my good fortune that you came along at 13, fully ‘birthed’ …and potty trained ’cause I’m not sure I could’ve handled all that either! I’m a wimp, I know. I’m a little sad that I missed out on your cute toddler and elementary school years, but there’s still some cuteness left in you I think..! You know how my mother likes to say “we got him at 13” –it’s like your a puppy or something and I find that hilarious.
Pre-you I used to be really scared of teenagers……..but I’m pretty sure I’m cured now…! You were the change in my life that I never bargained for or imagined. As you’ve grown, so have I. You were definitely a bonus and a blessing- who else could have introduced me to my long lost musical love of Jack White?
Because of you I get the chance to pay forward every time my dad took the time to throw a ball or show me how to do something in the garage. Every time my mom took me to the store with her or stopped her housework to play a game. I get to sign permission slips and play secretary and cheer leader and it’s really a cool job…this parent thing. Don’t get me wrong- things aren’t always rosy- you’ve seen me in action… tempers get short, patience is exasperated, but the three of us still make it work.
My favorite times now are sitting around with you and your dad laughing about some joke we’ve cobbled together that’s taken on a life of it’s own or finding ourselves on a random night playing his old mix tapes on a second hand stereo and laughing at how many times Metallica’s “Hit the Lights” comes up in the rotation…in multiple tapes…!
I apologize for telling you in jest that I spit in your drink the first night we met. I have a weird family- we like to mess with each other – and now you are a part of it for better or worse- you’re welcome. And I cherish your mother’s day card from this year. I have to say you’re the funniest and most clever kid I know- but I may be biased. Obviously I passed along my witty genes to you….oh…wait…!
My utmost wish for you is that you would Know God and Know you were loved by Him and by me. You crack me up in laughter and heart. My heart splits wide open because of you and then grows 3 sizes bigger just like the Grinch when I think of your past and future. And I wish you every happiness and good thing and opportunity to come your way. I pray that you get to pursue your dreams, that you become a good man like your dad and that one day maybe you’ll get to parent your own child through purpose or by chance and enjoy every minute just like I have.
I wrote that letter a while back and when I ran across it today and looked at the date- one year ago today– well I had to share… This weekend.. I have no words…. This boy… We are 10 days and counting until High School graduation… deep breaths… But in the past 72 hours we’ve seen him shine in his Senior band concert, step up to the plate learning how to rotate tires and walk down the aisle to profess Jesus as his Savior…!
My heart is full.