For When You Don’t Know

My great grandparents lived just four doors down from us in a two story farmhouse cobbled together over the years. Guinea hens ran unopposed in the yard, at least until us kids made it our mission to try and commandeer one and the warmth of the wood cook stove in the kitchen mingled with the oil heater in the living room made every winter visit come to a drowsy end.

In the summer the heat of the house drove everyone to the screened porch to hunker by the fan and I can see Pop and Anna sitting regally in fringed throw covered chairs – probably passed down from their parents – and us on squeaky gliders passing the time on a random evening.  Pop called everyone ‘boy’ whether you were one or not and drove his bride to church every Sunday in a baby blue Chevy pick-up returning just in time to reclaim her at 12 noon.

For all the things I remember and know about them and where they lived one question always ran rampant in my mind, “What was upstairs in that house??” My younger cousin had the run of the house since Anna babysat her almost everyday but in all my years of visiting, I was never invited past the living room. Whatever laid beyond the narrow doorway framing those crooked stairs was left exclusively to my imagination. Were there ancient toys I could play with? Mementos of my father’s or his family’s? Old pictures to study? The allure for vintage things started early it seems.

pop&anna

When I bought the house I live in now, I made arrangements with the sellers that if they would accept my lower price offer, I’d finish cleaning it out. The lady of the house had long since passed in a nursing home and the property being willed to relatives who had already scavenged much of the contents needed serious TLC. I saw it as my own personal treasure trove– after all who wouldn’t want someone else to swoop in and clean up their mess? They conceded and the task was at hand. But after a sweaty afternoon excavating the attic and eradicating the junk from the shed, we had little to show… just a few old papers, some rickety furniture and a trailer full of trash bound for the dump.

Seems what I found tucked away in those long forgotten storage spaces wasn’t as useful or exciting as I anticipated. Seeking earthy treasures left me with moths and rust.

And this curiosity extends past closed doors and more often into a future that I wish I knew how to navigate and plan for. The right path to take. Why I traveled wrong ones in the past and how to do better.

I’m reminded that Eve wanted to know things too… it’s what drove her to sample that fruit so foolishly long ago.

But what to do with this longing to know?

We can try to find out more about ourselves- what our personalities tell us about our strengths and weaknesses, but even those have meager meaning. Ever a sucker for a quiz I took one a few weeks back where I scored high as a golden retriever/otter mix… you know loyal and fun loving… But I’m not sure I’m sold on the canine identifier.

Just last week I tried another only to be labeled as idealistic (one who cherishes or pursues high or noble principles, purposes, goals, etc. also known as a dreamer) but as I scrolled down the dictionary page looking for further insights, idealistic could also be defined as, “not being compatible with reality.” And though that could possibly explain a lot about me, I’m not sure I like that discovery either.

Some days I feel like an anomaly– I thrive on routine but I dislike repetition. A girl who typically fears change yet still remains curious about what promises await. It’s a little exhausting maintaining this double life. It’s our human nature to want to know things but maybe it’s not always God’s timing or purpose to reveal it all.

Luckily God impressed on my heart this idea for when I’m dying to know and be known and it comes right back around to a choice in a garden — Do I want to uphold my pride or His promises? Will I put stock in my efforts to search out solutions to a situation or will I let Him be sovereign? Because to trust in His provision sure lightens the load and relieves us of one of the many responsibilities we women seem to shoulder in this information saturated age.

Knowing who I am IN Him- saved, cherished, loved, redeemed, safe, heard, royal, and precious- knowing who He is in this world and knowing what promises lie ahead for those that love Him keeps me content with not knowing what lies out of sight because I have a personal relationship with the God who sees and knows all.

Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God. ~Corrie Ten Boom

P.S. Want to know more??– Not just about me but about the ONE who knows and sees all? You’re in just the right spot. It’s my pleasure to create connection, community and sometimes cute stuff just for you! And I’d love it if you’d join our little tribe. Just click right here to get the scoop and a set of printable scripture cards! Can’t wait to meet you soon in your inbox.

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12 thoughts on “For When You Don’t Know

  1. I loved getting a little picture into your past and that quote from Corrie ten Boom is amazing 🙂 I needed that reminder today! PS By the way I’m a Lion/Beaver! I’m a sucker for personality tests too!

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    1. Thanks Angela for popping over! ♥ You comment made me laugh! Happy to make your animal kingdom acquaintance! LOL. And that quote keeps popping up so I thought it good to share! Love it and trying to let it work its way into my heart.

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  2. Heather,
    I loved hearing about your great-grandparents . . . but I HAVE to know — did you ever find out what was upstairs in their house?! What a mystery it must have seemed to you as a curious little girl — and I think it only served to be one of your greatest traits as an adult! You’re curious about people and that’s a wonderful thing! So am I — I love to hear people’s stories and what makes them who they are. It’s fascinating, isn’t it?

    I’ve been so impressed this week to just trust. Just trust the one one who is sovereign and that’s all we need to do. He will reveal our next steps. Maybe we spend too much time trying to make plans, control outcomes and figure out what’s too confusing at the time. That’s when we rest, trust and know that perspective will come as we take the next step, and the next and the next. Love these words tonight, friend! xo

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    1. Hey there! Sadly I never found out what existed past those stairs! LOL! It’s ok- my dad says he’s sure it wasn’t any kind of treasure… but that’s all subjective right?! Yep I am definitely a story girl! And I’ve been standing and praying all over trust this week too! God is so huge that he holds the whole world in His hand– so why not trust him more by giving ourselves and our plans, dreams and problems fully over to Him? Love sharing stories with you Valerie. Hope you are having an awesome week! xo

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  3. Hi Heather … those quizzes are fun but they can leave us more confused than ever by the time we’re done with them {unless they agree with how we’d like to see ourselves!} I’m done with labels on people, on myself, on situations … there are so many nuances that define us … for we are fearfully and wonderfully made!

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    1. Amen Linda! I am declaring a moratorium on all such quizzes! Better spent is my time finding out who I am according to the word and soaking up HIS stories : )

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  4. I often long for a crystal ball too, but I take comfort in knowing that God knows. That’s the heart of faith right – trusting in the unseen. Believing that His ways are higher and deeper, but that every step we take is over ground He’s already traveled for us. He sees the beginning from the end, and lays out those good plans for us to walk forward in. Loved learning a bit more of your backstory today. There’s your “brave” again in that treasure of a fixer upper!!

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  5. I love the story about your great-grandparents. Brings my own memories back to mind. And yes, we do know SO much, who God is, what He says in His Word, how faithful He’s already been. Why worry about what we don’t know?

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    1. Thanks Miss Betsy : ) I’m a story girl at heart…And what a great way to look at the flip side of this coin– Gosh we do know more than we think when it comes to God’s character, love and compassion…Seeking him first will lead us to exactly what he wants us to know at just the right time ♥ Thanks for popping over and leaving your sweet thoughts!

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