I cut my hair last Friday. Well, let me rephrase, the nice lady who puts up with my lackadaisical hair cutting schedule, cut my hair last Friday. (When you haven’t had a haircut in a year and a month, oh my word, it’s time…)

{image via The Graphics Fairy}

And now I feel like a new woman! In total opposition to Sampson who lost his power when his locks were sheared, I have somehow magically found motivation and follow-through with this new shorter do. I can say this with confidence because since Friday I have procured groceries, cooked several meals, sewed up 9 (yes nine!!) beautiful red cushion covers for a client, been to church, been to town for a couple of errands and gotten my house 1/4 of the way clean (let’s not dwell on the remaining 3/4 ok… choices …)

{Three of the nine….thank goodness they were all pretty much the same so I didn’t have to find a place to stage all nine cushions…}

Why, just in the span of yesterday evening I was able to go on a walk, hem up 2 pair of pants, bake a cake for this kid’s? youth? young man’s birthday (Today!!) and shower. It’s like I’m living in an alternate universe.

For the past little while, I’ve been living in a slightly less than productive state… there’s been some lack of motivation and frankly a little fear running rampant but I think I’m figuring out what gives. The first being that I have been all sorts of double minded… and now, quite convicted…anyone care to review those verses in James with me…?

Only it must be in faith that he asks with no wavering (no hesitating, no doubting). For the one who wavers (hesitates, doubts) is like the billowing surge out at sea that is blown hither and thither and tossed by the wind. For truly, let not such a person imagine that he will receive anything [he asks for] from the Lord,[For being as he is] a man of two minds (hesitating, dubious, irresolute), [he is] unstable and unreliable and uncertain about everything [he thinks, feels, decides]. ~ James 1:6-8

Ouch.

For all the things I’ve got going on lately, having two minds to keep up with is not going to work for me any longer… Spring has brought a serious backlog of all.the.things all of a sudden and I keep saying I’m trusting God for the outcomes but I keep circling back around to a me me me, mine mine mine, now now now sort of attitude… My efforts, my time…What if I commit to this craft show in June but continue to get more clients in the mean time? What if I don’t have the time to make stuff to sell because of all the other opportunities that keep popping up? What if I should be really concentrating on building my sewing clientele instead of this show? It looks like the “I‘s” have it…

If I’m trying to step out on my own, I will fail. But if I’m trying to step out with God, well the first thing is the actual step… it won’t work without me moving my feet (and various other parts) And if it’s the wrong step, well I’m pretty sure God is dedicated to course correcting. Besides failure is never really a failure unless you fail to learn anything from it.

Still, instead of sewing up all the many projects in front of me, I was sowing some serious discontent. And we all know that discontent leads to rebellion and rebellion leads to poor choices and poor choices lead to, well I think you get the picture… I never really had rebellious teenage years so to speak (mom, care to confirm?? or maybe not!) but I’m pretty sure I’ve been in some rebellious teen years of faith lately…rolling my eyes at stuff God wants me to do, making a fuss when I don’t get what I want when I want it, not understanding that his discipline is for my own good, getting a little overly dramatic when others are doing what I want to be doing and locking myself in my routine and refusing to come out.

{image via The Graphics Fairy……..sometimes I wish there really was a sewing fairy…}

When I’m too focused on all the things I’m not getting done, I miss all the things He has done for me and well, that’s just a recipe for disaster. We can’t take our eyes off God for a second, or we’ll be off in the surf alone… Un-tethered and un-anchored.

I found this even more true when everywhere I was looking online for help-Etsy, Instagram, Facebook, other blogs- for tips, tricks, supply sourcing, and inspiration – was doing nothing but keeping me going round and round in a nice little rut and slowly I was bogging down…. I couldn’t get past everyone’s highlight reel- even though I know that’s exactly what it is- and I was getting discouraged. You know it’s so easy to visit some sites and drool over everyone’s much cuter couch/bag/business/flowers/menu plan/and whatever else our envious eye finds to emulate….but it’s in no way very productive. I’ve always tried to come at social media from an encouraging place both in what I post and who I follow because there are some truly fine folks out there using it to the glory of God being a light to others. But when I felt something shifting in my reactions to all the pretty posts and scrolling around aimlessly became an escape from my real work at hand, I knew it was time to go off the grid for a bit.

Social media: use sparingly for best results.

So maybe the hair wasn’t the only catalyst in my sudden turn of get ‘er done attitudes. I’m not saying you’ll never see me on Instagram or wherever again, I’m just saying maybe a little absence makes the heart grow fonder…

And since I made that choice, I found a little peace again. Apparently I was missing the point on where my true help comes from. As if I needed more proof this song pretty much sums it up.

Hope and confidence are so fleeting unless they are based in the Lord.

But blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made the Lord their hope and confidence. ~Jeremiah 17:7

I can know all about Suzie’s business or how Darla decorated her house or where Whitney went on vacation and I can yearn for what they have – for what they choose to show me – and rebel when I don’t get it- or I can strive to know God.

Let us strive to KNOW the Lord. His appearance is as sure as the dawn. He will come to us like the rain like the spring showers that will water this land. ~ Hosea 6:3

He will show up sure as the sun when we cut off all the dead weight, cut out all the distractions and set our hearts on seeking him for all the answers.

♥

P.S… a parting shot of the hair… in case anyone was wondering… : )