I woke up with timing on my mind today. Ok I woke up with lots of things on my mind along with that to be quite honest, like I need to book a hotel for the Nashville trip and I need to make some copies of CDs for choir and what am I going to take for lunch today? Salad or cereal? Also will the hair be straightened or curled? Is it humid outside? Why can’t I sleep just 5 more minutes? Is it really Wednesday? Why not Friday? And sadly the list goes on…

But before we delve further into the trappings of my mind and the topic God put on it for today I need to tell you something…

I miss my cat.

There now that we’ve got that out of the way we can move on…

Boy how I wish it was that easy. Somebody do the math and let me know how long I’m going to mourn the loss of this 10 pound animal that was faithfully underfoot for 13 years…. The husband says I’ll feel better in about 25. I’m sure he’s exaggerating but who knew my heart would feel such a small loss in such a big way. My little female feline accompanied me, along with her older male counterpart, through 3 moves, 2 marriages and 1 foray into the single world. She was a constant before I realized who the real constant was.

My mind goes back to the beginning of the end of that first marriage where our family of four (2 human, 2 feline) had sold our little lake house in the country to move closer to the city while we decided where to set up house next. Heading to the rental found both me and Mandy ‘crying’ all the way down the road. Little did either of us know how things would end up- both with her health and that relationship.

Fast forward a year later to another moving day- this one with only one girl and two cats. Note: she still was not a fan of the car but we made it to our promised land in the form of a brick rancher back out in the country where she enjoyed so many happy years of decorating my couch and blinds and outfits with her fur, sitting in the sunshine, greeting me when I came home (seriously it’s not only dogs that showcase that talent) and she even eventually warmed up to cuddling with her human ‘step-brother’- the boy.

While I am thankful for getting to be her guardian I’m also reminded that nothing we hang our hats on in this life is certain except God.

Let us hold tightly without wavering to the HOPE we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep His promise. ~ Hebrews 10:23

As I looked back in my journal over the events of the past month I see where there were notes on the hopes for surgery for the kitty and an address for a job interview… both of which fell through. Crawling under the bed covers seems enticing to say the least but I have to keep going back to what I know.

Instead of shame and dishonor,  you will enjoy a double share of honor. You will possess a double portion of prosperity in your land, and everlasting joy will be yours. ~ Isaiah 61:7

Though I know God’s word and promises to be true I still get disjointed over His timing some days. It’s futile but I still find myself wrestling with this concept of time— moments passed that can’t be gotten back. Thoughts of future plans that won’t materialize fast enough or at all. Timely words left unsaid in a situation or maybe untimely words that once spoken couldn’t be taken back. Old movies and shows from a time long gone that evoke a longing for the morals, the fashion, the manners and the simplicity of a life lived in the past.

But we can’t go back and we can’t rush forward either.

Would one more week with her have made the loss any less traumatic? I’m forced to consider how obsessed I am with wanting things to run on my timing and I’m reminded that God is the master conductor whose job is to keep time.

If you’ve ever been in a choir you know how much timing matters- it has a lot to do with setting the tone and conveying the feeling of a song- and usually there is a standard to go by- either notated on the music or set by the director. It’s really at their discretion. And as much as we might like to move a little faster maybe there’s a blessedness to a slower tempo. A invitation to find some buried treasure in the rhythm of rest that we’ve been missing?

{image source unknown… but I’d love to give credit where credit is due if you know…}

Treasure takes time to dig for and refining fires don’t always fade out over night. The hotter and longer the trial, the stronger and more glorious outcome it produces.

I think back to the timing of that first marriage. Dad suggested we wait until college was finished. We noted his remark and promptly planned the ceremony anyway. Would a different timing had made that outcome any different? Would the saved heartache been worth it? Truth be known there probably would have just been another fire to walk through down the road for each event in our lives- good or bad fulfills a purpose.

We once saw a man draw some black dots. We looked and could make nothing of them but an irregular assemblage of black dots. Then he drew a few lines, put in a few rests, then a clef at the beginning, and we saw these black dots were musical notes. On sounding them we were singing,

“Praise God from whom all blessings flow, Praise Him all creatures here below.”

There are many black dots and black spots in our lives, and we cannot understand why they are there or why God permitted them to come. But if we let God come into our lives, and adjust the dots in the proper way, and draw the lines He wants, and separate this from that, and put in the rests at the proper places; out of the black dots and spots in our lives He will make a glorious harmony.Let us not hinder Him in this glorious work! ~ C. H. P.

I look over at my old teal colored dog-eared teen bible that I visited in from time to time still well into my 20s- though on no consistent basis- and I see the fang marks that my furry friend left on the front cover corner when she was a kitten. I used to cling to just certain verses like life rafts but over the last few years I’ve learned that only relying on select verses without diving into the big picture of the bible can’t accurately convey the fullness of the swelling symphony of loss and redemption.

In music the whole score of the piece wouldn’t be complete with having the timing and notes set into the proper framework. Lows and highs. Fast and slow. Rests and Crescendos.

In life we have to take the good times with the bad. Mountain highs and valley lows. Life and death.

We still have my grumpy old man cat for now – going on 15 years! Though he’s a little less excited to see us. (unless we’re doling out food) He’s growing a bit more cantankerous and thin as the days go on and also sounds a little like a pterodactyl when he meows…. According to the Purina site he’s pushing 76 in human years… but I guess I’ll sound a little scary and rusty then too!

Maybe this all just serves as a reminder to hold our people and pets and notions loosely and to marvel at every day spent in the present, appreciating the things and situations God’s placed right in front of us right now.

Even if they’re feeling prickly and not so cuddly.

This I know: In the proper timing everything will pan out.

♥