This morning it is humid, muggy and hazy in VA. And as a result, just like the Grinch’s heart, my hair grew two sizes the minute I stepped out into the weather. Frizz is not your friend.

Oh the complicated relationship I’ve always had with my hair. I challenge you to find one woman who doesn’t have hair envy. As a child my hair was straight with bangs that swooped oh so pretty over to the side. It’s been said jokingly that puberty hit me so hard it made my hair curl. And to think I still married my husband after that comment…

Now well past those teenage years I’m a little more adept at taming the hair. Wish I could say the same about my emotions! But that’s why God gives us grace, hats and headbands.

What’s been escaping me nowadays other than keeping my grays covered or my haircut current is coming to terms with the ebb and flow of friendship. My words feel jumbled and messy today kind of like my hair but I’ve had more than a few thoughts on this lately through my own encounters and stories of others so it must be something pretty common. Thankfully God’s been ever so gently showing me a few truths…

Some friendships end on bad notes. There may be disagreements followed by mutual parting of ways. But what of those sweet relationships that maybe are just not so fragrant anymore? No falling out occurred. No ill will was done. No reason for relaxed contact is given. Where does that leave us?

More and more I’ve heard and seen that even with the best intentions some relationships fall flat or fade out all together. I’ve been through times in my life where I was surrounded by friends, oh junior year of high school you were the best…even if I did have weird overly curled bangs. And on the flip side there were times when I felt like I couldn’t find a single one. I’ve had close friends come and closer friends go. I’ve had a fair amount of acquaintances and the small select few who have come to stay no matter how the hairstyles change.

With all the connecting capabilities we have now -cell phones, texting, Facebook and Instagram- I sometimes wonder is the art of face to face friendship lost? Are we fooled into thinking because we have 322 FB friends that we are really known? But if only 4 people like our IG post then we must be dull, unexciting human beings? Those things alone do not determine our worth. And if certain friends stay close or become lost or distant, well that doesn’t determine our worthiness either.

The more I think about all this, I know God has a purpose in the comings and goings. I surely wouldn’t sport the same pig-tails I would have when I was 6 so it stands to reason I probably won’t have the same friends either. In our adult lives schools progress, jobs take us to different cities, marriages, births, and other moves play havoc with our proximity to one another physically and emotionally.

{My Grandma Alice and her cousin with their friends sometime in the late 30s or early 40s… I really dig her shoes by the way…!}

His word says that for everything there is a season. And I have to believe he meant it for friendships too. He also calls us as made for such a time as this. We may be in the exact spots we’re in now to speak life and hope to someone close to us and it’s not an accident. People need people plain and simple to come stand in the gap for them. To intercede. To share. We’re not meant to do life by ourselves and we’re not meant to be stagnant in our walks and attitudes either. Growth is always God’s plan for us and he can use friends to accomplish his will.

Friends remind you that you’re not alone. Share good and bad hair days with you without batting an eye. Pray scripture. Make you laugh. Lighten the load. Give great hugs. Listen. Make great chicken salad. Encourage you to pursue your dreams.

Someone who may have been exactly what you needed for one stage of your life maybe isn’t suited for where you are now so God grows up someone else to wave that flag in your corner.

Do I think of long lost or forgotten friends often? You betcha. Do I still pray for them. Yep. And maybe one day when we both don’t have so many irons in the fire God will lead us back around to a divine restoration and we’ll pick right back up where we left off.

So what do we do in the meantime with our friends near and far? Here’s just a few suggestions but I bet you can think of more: Lift them up in prayer. Keeping God at the center of any relationship is key for a three stranded cord is strong. Reach out with a note of encouragement or a funny picture when we feel the spirit’s leading. Be available to the best of our ability even if it’s just to sit and cry with a friend over the phone if need be or share a quick cup of coffee on a porch swing. The old saying still holds true- to have a friend you have to be a friend. It’s work sometimes I know but it’s well worth it.

{image via Pinterest…}

I’ve heard, and maybe you have too, that we are a composite of our five closest friends. We pick up mannerisms, ways of speech, maybe even habits–  good and bad. This can be great if your life is full of inspiring people who spur you on in your pursuits. Good friends will take you far, just like good shoes or a rockin’ hair day. Bad ones not so much…

But what a friend we truly have in Jesus! Is he included in our five? Are we close enough to him that we’ve picked up some of his traits? Do we desire to be better versions of ourselves because of him? Do we recognize how He’s moving because we’re familiar enough with face to see Him in our lives and in the lives of our friends? Do we show him appreciation and adoration like we should? Do we really know him?

I encourage you not to let your emotions get tangled over friendships. It’s harder as adults to make and even keep friends some would say, but it’s not impossible. And never forget the friend that sticks closer than a brother. He will never leave you or forsake you.

How can you be a friend today?

♥

Sharing with some friends at Holley’s place today…